Friday, June 30, 2006

Confessions of an office dullard (Part II)

Day4 CONTINUED . . .
Work was a breeze today. No more eye pain, . . . no more nausea, . . . upset stomach, or diarrhea! I could see so clearly that if I normally wore glasses, I know that I would have disgarded them earlier this morning. Unfortunately my body isn't any more muscular, sigh! Movie stories never happen in real life . . .
or do they . . .

I woke up this morning feeling even better then yesterday, GREAT! My eyes feel like dancing cherries. They arn't normal anymore though, I can feel it.

I rush to the bathroom to look and see if there is any more eye goo around them. There isn't. Just as I thought; but wait! Peering closer in the mirror I see a thin glaze over both my eye balls.

Then suddenly it hit me, my eyes have developed super human powers because of all the ultra-violet, micro-kinetic wave impulses that the monitors at work were sending off to me in abnormally large doses. I can now theoretically see through even the brightest of lights that would permanently blind a normal human being. I'm not sure how I know this all of the sudden but I just seem to understand it naturally.

K, I have to think of a name for myself. Like a super hero name. "THE AMAZING EYE.....!!" No, that won't work. Where's Bruce Campbell when you need him? Sigh . . . or maybe, "The Spectacular Eyeball Boy!!!" . . . It'll have to do.

To all those who are wondering why I bothered to write this, almost completely fictional story, and why I didn't explain more about how work is actually going, .....well, I think it speaks for itself. I'm enjoying work but staring at a computer screen all day can only be so exciting.



  • say what????!?!??!?!?
    Funny story.. to bad its not true eh? .. imagine.. you could.. stare at the sun all day long O.o; altho.. I supose that would be rather pointless....

    By Blogger ~Shanel, at Friday, 30 June, 2006  

  • First of all mr. barnes, while I do enjoy the occasional good story about eyeball goo and eyes like dancing cherries (I did notice your eyes were looking rather red on that picture of graduation you took, I guess you are, as i've suspected all along, demonic), don't believe you are fooling anyone with your mentions of work and your descriptions of staring at a computer screen. You deem it necessary to invent these fantastical stories of superpower and schizophrenic apparitions because you're covering up your true motivation to move to fredericton in the first place. You're running guns and drugs to mexico aren't you? I know an arms dealer when I see one! I started to ask questions as I was sitting in your apartment and you opened your closet only for a plethora of ak 47's and various automatic rifles to fall to the floor. I told myself with a healthy dose of denial that you were obviously game hunting. It was Miramichi afterall. But in the immortal words of John Nash, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way". So anyways, keeping up with the theme of your story, i'll be keeping my EYE on you from now on mr. barnes.

    By Anonymous jeremie, at Sunday, 02 July, 2006  

  • They're onto us, amigo! hide the sombreros!

    By Blogger Mattstro Disastro, at Tuesday, 04 July, 2006  

  • Quick Stroud, transform the guns back into burritos. No one will ever suspect that harmless burritos could be deadly weapons...

    By Blogger Jerm, at Wednesday, 05 July, 2006  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thursday, 20 July, 2006  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Monday, 24 July, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home